And maybe some faith would do me good

Week two of classes started and I can already tell I'm not on the right track. I've been putting off reading and gotten back into last year's bad habits. I have been worrying only about getting by day to day and week to week instead of considering how quickly long term homework is going to pile up. Especially since the majority of my classes rely heavily on reading. It's making me nervous, if I've already managed to find excuses how easily will they come to me when i really start to get tired?

I guess I'm just lacking balance still. I'm not used to being in one place for so long and I've gotten caught up in organizing and decorating and planning and socializing instead of getting right into learning and such. I didn't have enough of a buffer period between the fun of summer (fun.... sure....) and being back at school. I really need to stop being so passive with my time.

My frustrations may also be running so high because I'm kind of an emotional wreck- I'm getting my heart trampled. The scary thing is I may very well be the one instigating the heartache. I feel like I almost thrive off of it. I like being shaken up and having to wriggle around and then finally settling back down with all the pieces shifted this way and that. I feel like I'm straight out of a Fiona Apple song.

I'm such a girl.