Against All Odds

i want a gap cashmere sweater more than i have wanted anything ever. at least this week. but seriously... i actually considered spending $88 on a sweater that i would also have to dry clean. at least now i've regained sanity and am considering finding someone to buy me one. is it christmas yet? honestly... do i really want a sweater that costs more than my bed? and half of my textbooks?

yes. i do.

happy hump day everyone. i'm finally feeling a little bit more balanced lately. although my workload is snowballing out of control. i got a whole bunch done last night, and even had time to go out to dinner and lounge around for a while. but i have a feeling that no matter how much i get done, and how fried my brain gets, i should be doing more. i found out yesterday that i have a conservation test on friday. why am i not taking that class pass/fail? oh yeah, because my gpa sucks and i need all 17 credits of A's this semester. blah. i've only gone to 3 classes so far. and we already have a test?!?!? welcome to college, eva. i should have known.

is it the weekend yet?

i haven't really talked to my mom in a week. it's weird. usually even if we're in a fight, when i leave we go back to talking every day or every other day. and i'm too chicken to call her and just talk because i know she's going to yell at me about my finances. i hate hate hate talking about money with her. and it's all she's been nagging me about lately. it's all that she's been talking about too. i think about serious stuff too much on my own, i'd like to call home and talk about stuff like pets and family and how i'm doing with life. i think i'm missing this a lot, and it's been contributing to my negative mood lately. i tried calling her last night and she didn't pick up. i can't believe we've reached that point.

i am so thankful though, for my friends at school. somehow, no matter how stressful, frustrating, or just bland my day is, i can find exactly the right kind of consolation. i wish i could take them all and sew them into a quilt... so that i can carry it with me and cuddle right into it whenever i feel overwhelmed. that was sappy. but true. especially now that the weather is cold... because then not only would they cheer me up, i could stay warm! yes... i'm a nerd... but between homemade dinners, lounging and watching tv, and making dictionaries of goofy words that we use, i have felt so at home... these people are my family, and i love the nerdy they bring out in me.