hide and seek
i have nothing holding me together. i no longer know what i'm doing, where i'm heading, or what i want. blah.
blah blah.
i have so much to figure out, but i can't talk about it. all i've been doing is talking about it and i haven't been saying anything.
i just want to escape it all. but i can't escape myself. that's what i've really been trying to run away from. unsuccessfully, of course. and i haven't been running towards anything.
i want to melt myself into a puddle, just melt to the floor and swish around a little, and then possibly consider resolidifying. maybe. but it would just feel so good to be liquid, fluid, no tense muscle, no fight against gravity.
i'm lost. and cold. and tired.
contemplation is a lonesome affair.
i might not survive winter this year.
blah blah.
i have so much to figure out, but i can't talk about it. all i've been doing is talking about it and i haven't been saying anything.
i just want to escape it all. but i can't escape myself. that's what i've really been trying to run away from. unsuccessfully, of course. and i haven't been running towards anything.
i want to melt myself into a puddle, just melt to the floor and swish around a little, and then possibly consider resolidifying. maybe. but it would just feel so good to be liquid, fluid, no tense muscle, no fight against gravity.
i'm lost. and cold. and tired.
contemplation is a lonesome affair.
i might not survive winter this year.
posted by Eva at 11:19 PM
2 Comments:
I love you!! And it will be ok. As much as it doesn't seem like it ever will be...it will. You're an amazing person. :)
let's be liquid together.
you.
me.
spouse time this week. to be silly and not talk.
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